Jokes Page 2

What do you call a chicken on the go? Poultry in motion.

Why don't you take a Pokemon into the bathroom with you? Because it might Pikachu.

Buzzword Bingo

For those of you who attend a lot of meetings, this should make those meetings go faster! If you don't attend lots of meetings, consider yourself lucky.

How to play: Simply tick off 5 words heard in one meeting from the following list and shout out BINGO! It's that easy!

Proactive, not Reactive
Win-Win Situation
Think Outside the Box
Take That Offline
On the Same Page
Strategic Fit
Gap Analysis
Best Practice
The Bottom Line
Core Business
Lessons Learned
Touch Base
Game Plan
In the Loop
Out of the Loop
Go the Extra Mile
The Big Picture
Movers and Shakers
Ball Park
Fast Track
A Done Deal
Empower Employees
No Blame
Stretch the Envelope
Knowledge Base
Total Quality Mindset
Put The One to Bed
Move the Goal Posts
Peel the Onion Back
More Bang for the Buck

Testimonials from other players:

"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I yelled BINGO."

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

"The facilitator was gobsmacked as we all screamed BINGO for the 3rd time."

"I feel that the game has enhanced the overall quality of meetings per se on a quid pro quo basis."

"People are even listening to mumblers, thanks to Buzzword Bingo!"

The O.J. Murder Trial by Dr.Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.

When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.

Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.

Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, not anytime.

And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!

What NOT to say to a cop who pulls you over

  1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
  2. Sorry, I didn't realize that my radar detector wasn't on.
  3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
  4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me.
  5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
  6. Bad cop! No donut!
  7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?
  8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school.
  9. I pay your salary.
  10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
  11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
  12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist.
  13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
  14. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.
  15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
  16. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
  17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
  18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around - that's how far they are ahead of me.
  19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.