These are ACTUAL excerpts from a book
containing Model Papers, and some taken from a Class VII II
Language Guide. I don't want to write
the names of those books here, but I'm sure you'll recognise
them if you have the books. I have not introduced any
spelling mistakes or "anomalies" :) on my own -
everything is quoted exactly
as it appears in those books, even capitalisation of words!
First, let's see what the book of "Model Papers"
has to offer... This book was probably an attempt to make a
quick Rs. 100 from every person who bought it. It was
published sometime in 1997, only a few copies were printed.
I tried to actually answer a few questions from it - but
then gave up because I had to DECIPHER the questions first.
So I then decided to mark all the errors in the book - there are
literally hundreds!! These are some of the funnier ones...
- "Instrument which records and reproduces is
called 'Tape Recorder'."
- "When the frequency of sound waves is between 20Hz
and 20,000Hz we can hear. These limits are called
the limits of sudibility or audible range."
- "Neclear fission is the procession which a heavy
nucleus splits and forms heavy weght nuclei."
- "A valve with two electrodes lis called a
- "Love form to periodic table consists of 18
groups and 7 periods." (it should be 'long
- "Ammonia has pungent smell, phosphione given rotton
fishy smell. Both the molecules are phyramidal in
- "A homogenous mixture of two or more substances is
known as a liquid."
- "Compounds having same number of mole with different
properties are known as Polymely. This process is
konwn as Isomerism."
- "What are salt meadows?
"Harge flat ponds near seashore with without sand."
- "A dog hangs his tonque out in summer?
- "A dry gas at normal pressure is a bad conductor of
- "Birds have no eyes yet they fly easily, How
- "NCl3. Give reason __________"
- "Shirliness of a musical note depends upon
- "Name of the acid secreted in our stomaon?"
- "The shape of methane molecule is...
(a) Pyramidal (b) Angular (c) Felrahedral (d) Friangular
- "The many, being very jungry, ate too much."
And after all that, the biggest joke is on the front cover
which proclaims "Answer Booklets Can Be
These are some 'quotes' from the VII Class
Special English Guide. I bought this in 1993 - and have
preserved it for all these years - it's a great joke book!
The textbook we had that time was an abridged
version of Dickens' Great Expectations,
which was nicely written, but this "guide" to that book
is really something that has to be seen to be believed. I
don't think it's published anymore.
- "Answer the following questions in a wentence or
- "Who was seated by the mound near the riva?"
- "Who looked after Pip's Sista"
- "Pips kindness to a stranker" (Chapter
- "What was Joe's answers to it?
"Joe answered to it, saying that he was glad because
the prisoner received some food from his house. He
did not know what he had done. His people never
know it. That did not want him to die of
hunger. If some one gave him food from his house,
he was really happy about it."
- "Why was Pip in tears? What
did Estella to tell him?
"Estella did not talk to Pip. She did not even
look at him. She brought food in plate and put on
the stones in yard. She did not ask him whether the
food was enough. Pip felt terribly sorry. So
he was in tears. She asked him why he did not
cry. She laughed at him and said that he was about
to shed tears."
- "What did Mr. Pocket say about Miss?
"Mr. Pocket said Miss Havisham wanted some one to be
at home and so she lived there. She was very rich
women once she tried to marry a young man. She gave
him a lot of money. Her father warned her about the
strange manner. So she sent her father out.
She could not marry the young man because on the wedding
day he did not come. She was very much disappointed
and stopped all her clocks.
The verb is a word which reveals an action, a condition
or a possession." (that last line was obviously
printed in the wrong place)
- "Figth like a hero."
- "The lion is the king of bears."
- "Why did the stranger call Pip "noble
"The stranger called pip, "Noble Boy"
because the letter had done something to his when he was
a child. He was greatful for his noble act in
giving him file and bread the body did not inform the
police of his where about."
- "What did Herbert and pip decide about
"Herbert and Pip decided to keep provis on the other
side of the river so that no one could see him. Her
bert wuld love after his comforts and Pip should not go
- "What was not that he received when he went
"Pip when he went home, received a note from the
gate man. As per the note she would not go
- "Who wrote note to Pip?
"Wemmick wrote not to Pip. It said that he
should not go home."